Wedding, Bisexuality and sharing, etc. etc.

Wedding was Friday and everything went amazingly well, even with the  whole dress thing the day before. Family and friends came, we kept it short and sweet and relaxed, ate our meal enjoyed the cake and were home by 8:15. Denver Comic Con was great, we saw a lot of good things and really enjoyed it, we are thinking about making it our annual tradition.

Recently Cherie has commented on wishing I was bisexual, and I will answer as best I can on that, I have never been sexually attracted to men, I acknowledge that men can be attractive, they just aren't to me. That is all there is to that.

She also has brought up being shared with another man or multiple men, short or long term, I personally am ok with short term, but I know Cherie really wants it to be a long term thing. I personally at this point am not comfortable with a long term arrangement, my self confidence is just not high enough at this time. That is just something that could change over time though.

Wedding, WHY?

Someone posted a question on Cherie's blog about why we are getting married so soon and why? Well like Cherie said, because we can. We made this decision together and it is financial boon for us. For me it is also a dream of mine to be married before my friends and family, as odd as that sounds for a guy. But that is my response to that

Feeling off, way off

I haven't posted in awhile for a reason, I just have been off, way off and been stubbornly trying to deal with it myself. It is affecting all sorts of things with me. I am not getting restful sleep, I have little desire to do things I want to do, I didn't even want to write yesterday when I had a good idea and new pens. I am slipping back into depression and I don't know why. Things have been going great, at least I think they have been. I know I should talk to someone about it, but it is so damn hard to trust someone I don't know with it, it is even hard for me to admit this to Cherie, and I trust her explicitly.

So, Cherie, when you read this, I am sorry that I haven't been able to tell you until recently how off I have been.

Frustrated

Cherie had a freakout this evening and it affected a young woman who we both have been talking to. We have talked about it, but I have a feeling that I was not aware of what was going the whole time, which gives me a "scratch". We will see how things go.

Jealousy and the aftermath

If you read Cheries blog, and most of you do, you know about her jealousy incident, and how we handled it. Well I would like to put some of my thoughts on the incident down just so she can see them, because lately I haven't been wanting to speak on many things.

First, when this happened and she told me what was happening in her mind, I was worried. Cherie is dealing with alot of things with her depression, she doesn't need to have to deal with being jealous about me talking with one of our friends as well. Second, I got the feeling that while she wants to be poly, she wants her partners to be monogamous with her. She denies this, but I still get that feeling.. Those are just acouple things I had come in my mind. Hope everyone has a good day.

P.S Avengers tonight, super excited for it!

Travel and Headspace

Things have been going great with me and Cherie, our new protocols are working well and I am keeping in my own headspace alot better, this weekend will be a big test of that. We are going to Missouri to visit her family and spend time with them. I am anxious with both my mindset and hers, plus travel makes me super anxious, since I have't had a chance to fix the things that need it on my car yet, dang bonus taking forever.

My challenge

Recently I have been having troubles keeping my mind in the "Master" headspace that is needed with my slave, Cherie. It is a problem that happens on and off since we have taken things into M/s. My biggest issue is I have to hold back that part of my mind at my job and in the reserves, seeing as I am not in a leadership position in either at this time. I have been trying to come up with ideas that can help me keeping in the mindset without causing issues with my work and my military career. Any who read this feel free to message me and give me an idea.