Good talk and a boring weekend

Last night Cherie and I had a good talk on some of our hangups and the whys of them. It gave me some hope that we will be able to work them out. Now it is just going to be a lazy weekend, Cherie has homework for school and I have nothing planned. Probably should do dishes and laundry and such, but we will see. I hope everyone who reads my blog has a good weekend. Talk to you all later.

Gah... or how I feel sometimes

I am currently having a mini freakout about the stupidest of things. I haven't been thrilled about my job since I started it, it definitely gets to me. Today it got to me more than normal, and with money being so tight, they cut Cherie's hours at work since it is the post holiday slow down, it has been really affecting me. Throw on top of that, me feeling like I am a horrible lover to Cherie because I cannot at this time fulfill one of her major fantasies, and it spells a Gah moment. I also may be getting sick, which means I cannot sleep even more and I am starting to ramble again. So yeah, cliff notes version, I feel ill and I feel inadequate.

Happy Birthday

So today is my birthday and it was a pretty boring day, which was very nice. I had drill this weekend and got a cake from my folks, they put it in my car at the reserve center. I was still a little upset with my mothers poking around. Other than that was an uneventful weekend.

What a weekend...

This weekend was supposed to be quite boring, with the exception of me having to get up early to take Cherie to work. I had no plans and was looking forward to being able to unwind and relax. And then my mother sent Cherie and I messages on facebook. She was deciding to delete us both from facebook because of our blogs and our lifestyle, which was the fist time I had heard of this. Needless to say I was pretty pissed, mostly because it means my mom is judging us based on our private lives, plus it means she was snooping, because neither of our blogs are mentioned on facebook, ever. She mentioned recommending that my siblings delete us as well, hasn't happened yet, and my dad hasn't either, which is surprising considering he is the one who usually gets upset quickly over something like this.

Well after all that joy, my whole plan of relaxing kind of went down the drain. I was restless, always wanting to do something, not knowing what to do. I started worrying about finances and got irritable about that all weekend.

I need stuff to do on my time off, other than reading and watching movies and television shows. Cherie suggested I do some volunteer work, since I want to do something that helps others. But when I say that I mean I want to for a living, not just because I like to help others. I honestly want to get into law enforcement, but it is so hard to do that without degrees and prior training. My military training doesn't qualify me for those kind of jobs, one of the big kick in the pants of being a laundry guy.

Just a post

Just thought I would post and say Happy Holidays for everyone who, no matter which one you celebrate.

Been awhile....again

It has been awhile since I posted and a lot has happened since then. I got a raise at work, Cherie got signed up for classes, decided to delete her fetlife account  and finally got my X-Box 360 that I have been wanting. And that is just to name a few. I feel we both have had struggles and gotten better, as a whole. We thought that Cherie might have been pregnant, we were excited, but false alarm.

 I feel that I am at a crossroads again though. I feel it may be time to drop the dream of writing and look towards another dream, one that I am not sure what it is yet. This has been particularly hard on me because I feel that if I can get the ideas onto paper or the computer that they would be really great stories to tell, unfortunately I have an inability to transfer my ideas from my head to wherever I want to put them. We cannot afford for me to go to school at the same time as Cherie, so that dream I want to accomplish will have to wait.

Neither one of us has been hyper social lately either. Cherie thinks that school will give her more opportunities to do so, and I agree with her there. Alas, I don't have that option. I want to spend time with people I already know and care about, Brad and Cindy, Vicky, Mike, Ryan, Chris and John, all of my friends I have now. But it seems time and money always get in the way, and I am starting to whine.

I hope all who read this are well this holiday season, and keep strong and not succumb to the chaos that seems to be permeating the world. This is to be a time of peace and togetherness, a celebration of life in the harshness of winter.

Been awhile

It's been awhile since I have posted last and a lot has happened since then. I went through a major depressive streak, and it was really affecting my relationship with Cherie. It got better, but it has been making me think and I really am working on keeping my mental confidence up and being more decisive in my decision making. I am still working on getting to the point I need to be at.